May 29, 2016

The 8 Types of Moms You See at the Airport

Traveling with kids is not for the faint of heart! Here are 8 types of Moms you see at the airport: 

1. The Babywearing Bandit: She’s got a baby strapped to her front in an expensive woven wrap, she’s wearing a teething necklace and her child hasn’t made a peep in hours. Wait a second? Is she breastfeeding WHILE walking through security? Winning!

 

Me, babywearing my youngest at MSP.

 

2. The Polished Princess:
Chanel from head to toe – but her baby has green snot streaming from his nose. How. Does. She. Stay. So. Clean. How does she walk in those heels? 

3. The Travel Virgin: She has a carefully wrapped toy to surprise her child with every hour. She distributes earplugs and an apology note to travelers who are sitting nearby. Her diaper bag is bursting at the seams because if this plane is delayed for 6 hours SHE IS READY. 

4. The Techno-Mama: Children are successfully plugged into various iPads and iPhones, baby is strapped to some sort of wheeled device you’ve never seen before, and all boarding passes are saved to an app on her phone. She’s texting her Uber driver before the plane is fully landed. 

5. The Safety First Mama: She has installed two car seats, paid for a ticket for her still-under-two child and is currently discussing de-planing over water procedures with the flight attendant. 

6. The Pumping Mama: She has 64 ounces of breastmilk divided into carefully marked 3 ounce bags and if the security guard swabs her milk she will cut you. Hear a melodic whirring sound? She gave up on finding a decent spot to pump months ago and has mastered the art of pumping in public under a scarf. 

7. The “Baby Won’t Stop Us” Couple: They’re still young! They’re still wild! They can go on a backpacking adventure in Asia with a teething 9-month-old!

And finally:

8. The Away Without the Kids Mama: She is either alone or with her husband. To a passerby she looks like anyone else but the discerning eye notices the bit of dried oatmeal on her sleeve and the drool stain for when she left the house. She’s busted out! She hasn’t had this much alone time in months. She immediately whips out a picture of her kids when you start chatting, offers to hold a young mother’s baby, and when the plane is delayed she ignores the other passengers groans, and nestles into her seat with a book and a latte as if she’s in heaven. More quiet alone time? She’ll take it!

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Comments

  1. Cheryl Roberts says:

    LOL! I have definitely seen some of these. You are such a funny writer!

  2. Jenna Vislisel says:

    Love this, Jasmine! Brought some happiness to my day! 🙂

  3. I love when I get to be “away without the kids”, everybody who encounters me alone just thinks that I am super happy and energetic, then they don’t recognize me with kids in tow. Great post!

  4. Arianne says:

    Hahahaha amazing!

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