June 5, 2016

8 Things Every Mom Does in the Shower

The first baby was bathed every night, and the second every few nights; but what about mama? Whether you squeeze in a shower first thing in the morning, sneak one in while baby babbles in the “circle of neglect” exersaucer next to you, or wait until everyone is asleep before jumping in, there are a few things that every mom does in the shower:

1.   The first thing any mom does when she’s in the shower is decide that she doesn’t have enough time to wash her hair, put it in a ponytail, and then get it wet by accident and decide she better wash it anyway. She’ll quickly resolve that she’ll save time by not blowdrying it.

2.   She’ll then decide not to shave her legs. One more day (week) won’t hurt anyone!

3.    Next, she’ll stop everything and stick her head out the door, thinking she heard the baby cry. This phenomenon, widely known as “Shower schizophrenia,” is a rite of passage for every mother. She may even turn the water off in a panic and listen to the silence, only to hear screams a moment later when the water is running again.

4.   Now, it’s time to quickly glance down at that hole left by her belly button ring and wonder if she’ll ever put a little bit of sparkle back. This will make her wonder if she’ll have another baby one day or not.

5.   She’ll then start to use bodywash and be plagued with guilt that her nursling will smell the scent of wild orchid on her breasts and refuse to nurse that night, sabotaging another night of sleep.

6.   Start to sing a song and realize it’s from the Bubble Guppies or Daniel Tiger.

7.   Makes a mental list of everything she needs to do/buy/pick up/drop-off.

8.   Step out of the shower and before even reaching for the towel, pause to listen to the sounds of the house to see if anyone is screaming or crying.

 

When do you find time to shower?

 

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Filed Under: Parenting

Comments

  1. Haha. I got a good laugh out of this (still giggling at the “circle of neglect”). Showers are hard to come by indeed! These days I bathe with baby and then pass her off to her father while I shower.

  2. Suzanne says:

    Lol!!! I do all of these every time a.ka. Every Wednesday ..great article Mama!

  3. This was so funny! #3 for sure! My kids are a little bit older now (4 and 5), so usually can be entertained by a TV show when I shower, but it never fails – when I get out, they are always hanging around in my room, needing me to get something or do something while I am still only in a towel!

  4. Funny and true – the good news is that it gets better! My girls are now 16 and 20 and I can finally take nice long showers – however, I still skip shaving my legs a lot, and I always think I hear someone holler “mom”.

  5. I am now passed this stage, but this post made me laugh. That was so me a few years ago. I now have my hair short and am wondering why I didn’t cut it when I had little kids.

  6. So funny! All the moms I know are desperate for just 10 uninterrupted minutes so they can actually have a relaxing shower!

    Nellwyn | http://www.thecardinalpress.com

  7. Haha I’m not a Mom, but based on my experience from my friends who are moms… yes to thinking about all the things you have to do when you get out of the shower! I think my friends (with kids) would really appreciate a waterproof “to do” list so they could write down things to remember. Mommy brain is real!

  8. Haha, I love this! I always wondered what to call the paranoia that strikes when you’re showering and keep thinking you hear the kids cry.

  9. Wow i thought i was the only one. This was a great read! Good job 😊

  10. I love the songs about Daniel Tiger, this is so me!

  11. OMGoodness this is so accurate!!! I literally pictures myself doing this when my kids were smaller! This was the best!

  12. Hahahahahaha! Well said! I still think I hear phantom crying (or calling, in my daughter’s case), and my daughter is already 3! I must admit, I do not miss those no-shower days, back within the first couple months.

  13. My showers vary. Sometimes first thing in the morning and sometimes at nap time in the afternoon. If it hasn’t happened by 5 pm its most likely not happening at all that day! lol

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