The first baby was bathed every night, and the second every few nights; but what about mama? Whether you squeeze in a shower first thing in the morning, sneak one in while baby babbles in the “circle of neglect” exersaucer next to you, or wait until everyone is asleep before jumping in, there are a few things that every mom does in the shower:
|1. The first thing any mom does when she’s in the shower is decide that she doesn’t have enough time to wash her hair, put it in a ponytail, and then get it wet by accident and decide she better wash it anyway. She’ll quickly resolve that she’ll save time by not blowdrying it.
2. She’ll then decide not to shave her legs. One more day (week) won’t hurt anyone!
3. Next, she’ll stop everything and stick her head out the door, thinking she heard the baby cry. This phenomenon, widely known as “Shower schizophrenia,” is a rite of passage for every mother. She may even turn the water off in a panic and listen to the silence, only to hear screams a moment later when the water is running again.
4. Now, it’s time to quickly glance down at that hole left by her belly button ring and wonder if she’ll ever put a little bit of sparkle back. This will make her wonder if she’ll have another baby one day or not.
5. She’ll then start to use bodywash and be plagued with guilt that her nursling will smell the scent of wild orchid on her breasts and refuse to nurse that night, sabotaging another night of sleep.
6. Start to sing a song and realize it’s from the Bubble Guppies or Daniel Tiger.
7. Makes a mental list of everything she needs to do/buy/pick up/drop-off.
8. Step out of the shower and before even reaching for the towel, pause to listen to the sounds of the house to see if anyone is screaming or crying.
When do you find time to shower?